Wednesday, April 08, 2009

The Unthinkable Happened Last Weekend

I actually walked off a golf course having played less than nine holes.

For starters, I despise nine hole rounds - if I make the commitment to play golf, I'm there to PLAY GOLF, and that means a full round of 18 holes.

I can't remember one instance in my life where I've walked off a golf course after only six holes, as I did on Sunday, other than in severe weather conditions.

I had been feeling under the weather off and on over the past couple of weeks, even telling Cal and Harris via messenger that I wasn't going to be playing on Sunday because of my health. Bad fevers, chills, sweats, headaches, shortness of breath and fatigue: how are those symptoms!

However, there's always something about beautiful sunshine early in April that makes everyone feel just a bit better inside and stupidly, I sent texts to both Harry and Cal that I would be playing that day.

I hit two good shots on the first hole and missed about a ten footer for birdie, tapping in for par, bogeyed the second and third then made a good par on four.

Then, I completely and utterly ran out of gas. Weak smother hook on the par four 5th that left me over 250 yards out for my second. Another smother hook later, I'm still 100 yards away. I'd punch that on and bogey.

I've got nothing at this point. I'm labouring about 40 yards behind Cal and Harry and really struggling to keep up. I'm having trouble breathing and I've got pain in my abdomen. I hit a big block off the par five sixth but get it out there then pathetically roll my next shot into the pond right in front of me. I try to keep going, skulling a shot down the fairway, hitting another shot short then pitching long through the green. Hilariously, I'd chip the next one in for double but that was it.

I had to walk in. I've never felt this much pain and fatigue in my life. Knowing how much I love golf and how much it pains me to miss any time on the course, I KNEW I wasn't well so I went straight to the walk-in clinic, where the doctor told me I likely had a viral infection of some sort, possibly mono.

MONO? I'm 36 years old! I haven't locked lips with anyone other than my wife in at least five years! How the hell does that happen!

I went in for blood tests the next day and I'm still waiting for the results to come in. It's been a very rough week physically and everyone in the house is sick, including my little dude Evan.

I'm heading to the clinic tomorrow to find out the results. Thankfully, today has been a very good day so I'm hopeful the results come back negative and I just have some bad, bad infection that has run its course.

Either way, no golf for this guy for a couple weeks, meaning I'm going to be ill-prepared for the big Ontario Better Ball qualifier with Harris in a couple weeks. I'll just have to wing it.

And I completely realize I'm opening myself up for countless jokes about possibly having mono but shit man, if you've suffered from what I've gone through the last couple of weeks, you'd understand. It's been torture.

At least I've got the Masters to watch tomorrow!

3 comments:

  1. I don't understand why being sick last week keeps you off the course for the next 3 weeks?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, I'm still sick, that's why.

    I've missed the whole week at work. I also can't do any physical activity for a few weeks if the prognosis comes back positive.

    So there.

    ReplyDelete